LGBT Self Care: 7 Practices That Honor Your Whole Identity

Self care isn’t selfish—it’s survival.

For LGBTQIA+ folks navigating a world that doesn’t always affirm or protect us, caring for ourselves becomes both a political act and a personal necessity. But generic self care advice often misses the mark. Bubble baths and face masks have their place, but they don’t address minority stress, coming-out fatigue, or the emotional burnout of existing in spaces that weren’t built with you in mind.

Real LGBTQIA+ self care recognizes the unique stressors our community faces. It’s about building practices that acknowledge your lived experience while nurturing your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.

This guide explores seven affirming self care strategies designed specifically for LGBTQIA+ individuals—practices rooted in resilience, community wisdom, and the recognition that you deserve to thrive exactly as you are.

What Makes LGBTQIA+ Self Care Different?

Self care for LGBTQIA+ people isn’t just about relaxation. It’s about counteracting the specific stressors that come with navigating heteronormative and cisnormative systems.

Minority stress—the chronic stress experienced by members of stigmatized groups—takes a documented toll on mental and physical health. You might deal with microaggressions at work, family rejection, healthcare discrimination, or the constant calculation of safety in public spaces.

Traditional self care frameworks often ignore these realities. They assume a baseline of social acceptance and safety that many LGBTQIA+ folks simply don’t have.

Affirming LGBTQIA+ self-care practices acknowledge this context. They’re designed to help you:

• Process discrimination and stress
• Maintain boundaries
• Connect with community
• Protect your energy while moving through unsafe or invalidating spaces

Why Self Care Matters for LGBTQIA+ Mental Health

Research consistently shows that LGBTQIA+ individuals face higher rates of anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms than the general population. This isn’t because of our identities themselves—it’s because of the stigma, discrimination, and violence we encounter.

Self care becomes a tool for building resilience against these external pressures. It helps you regulate your nervous system, maintain perspective, and remember: you’re not the problem—oppressive systems are.

Regular self care practices can support:

• Reduced anxiety and depression symptoms
• Improved emotional regulation
• Stronger identity and self-trust
• Increased overall life satisfaction

Think of self-care as preventive maintenance for your mental health. Just like you wouldn’t wait until your car breaks down to change the oil, you don’t need to be in crisis to prioritize caring for yourself.

7 Affirming LGBT Self Care Practices

1) Set Boundaries Around Your Energy and Identity

You don’t owe everyone access to your story, your pronouns, or your emotional labor.

Boundary-setting is foundational self-care for LGBTQIA+ folks who often face invasive questions or expectations to educate others.

Try this:

• Practice saying no without explanation.
• Decline personal questions about your identity, your body, or your relationships.
• Leave conversations that feel unsafe or draining.
• Limit time in environments where you must code-switch or hide parts of yourself.
• Notice which relationships consistently leave you depleted rather than energized.

Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re doorways. They let you decide who and what gets access to your inner world.

2) Build and Maintain Chosen Family Connections

Chosen family—the people who see, affirm, and support you regardless of biological ties—can buffer against minority stress.

These relationships provide:

• Belonging
• Validation
• Mutual care

Ways to strengthen chosen family:

• Schedule regular check-ins with friends who get it.
• Create rituals (weekly coffee, monthly game night, annual trips).
• Don’t wait for crisis to reach out—connection is preventive care.
• Join LGBTQIA+ social groups, sports leagues, book clubs, or online communities if you’re feeling isolated.

Building chosen family takes intentional effort, but the mental health payoff is real.

3) Practice Identity Affirmation Daily

When the world questions or invalidates your identity, deliberate affirmation becomes essential.

Small daily practices can help counter external messaging:

• Use your chosen name and pronouns in personal journaling.
• Surround yourself with LGBTQIA+ art, media, or community stories.
• Speak affirmations aloud in the morning.
• Wear meaningful jewelry or clothing that connects you to your truth.
• Create a vision board that celebrates your authentic identity.

Identity affirmation isn’t about convincing yourself you’re valid—you already are.
It’s about interrupting and challenging the noise that suggests otherwise.

4) Move Your Body in Ways That Feel Good

Movement can reduce stress hormones, improve mood, and help process trauma stored in the body.

But traditional fitness culture can feel alienating or unsafe—especially for transgender and gender non-conforming folks.

Affirming movement means choosing practices that honor your relationship with your body:

• Walking in nature
• Yoga (at home or in affirming spaces)
• Dance
• Swimming
• Martial arts
• Adaptive fitness

If gyms feel unsafe, consider a home routine that’s fully yours—free from body-shaming culture or unwanted attention.Movement isn’t about changing your body to meet external standards.
It’s about connection, release, and respect.

5) Engage in Creative Expression

Creativity helps you process complex emotions, explore identity, and make meaning from experience. It’s also joy—and joy is resistance.

You don’t need to be “good” at art to benefit.

Ideas to try:

• Write poetry about your coming-out journey
• Paint emotions you can’t quite name
• Make playlists for different parts of your identity
• Journal without censoring yourself
• Join LGBTQIA+ open mic nights, writing groups, or community art projects

Sharing your work with affirming people can deepen the healing.

6) Curate Your Media Diet Intentionally

What you consume shapes how you see yourself and the world.

Seeking LGBTQIA+ creators and stories is an act of self care that counters erasure and distortion.

Supportive media habits:

• Follow LGBTQIA+ creators, educators, activists, and artists
• Read books by queer and trans authors
• Watch shows and films with authentic LGBTQIA+ representation

Protective media habits (equally important):

• Mute triggering keywords on social media
• Unfollow accounts that harm your mental health
• Take breaks from the news during hostile political moments

You’re allowed to protect your peace. Staying informed doesn’t require constant exposure to dehumanizing content.

7) Access Affirming Mental Health Support

Sometimes self care means recognizing when you need professional support.

Working with an LGBTQIA+-competent therapist can help you:

• Process minority stress
• Navigate coming-out decisions
• Heal from discrimination and trauma
• Work through internalized stigma
• Build coping strategies tailored to your experience

The right therapist won’t require you to educate them or defend your identity. They’ll understand the stressors you face and support you without pathologizing who you are.

At iAmClinic, our therapists aren’t just trained in LGBTQIA+ competence—many are community members themselves. We understand that effective therapy requires both clinical expertise and lived understanding of the joys and challenges of LGBTQIA+ life.

Creating Your Personal Self Care Plan

Effective LGBTQIA+ self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. It requires experimentation to discover what actually nourishes you (not what you think “should” work).

Step 1: Identify your stressors

• What drains your energy?
• Which situations trigger anxiety or depression?
• Where do you feel least safe or most unseen?

Step 2: Build a “menu” of supports
Create options across categories so you can match the practice to your capacity:

• Daily micro-practices (≤ 5 minutes):
  Affirmation, grounding breath, a favorite song, quick journaling
• Weekly rituals (30–60 minutes):
  Therapy, chosen family dinner, creative time, movement practice
• Monthly investments (half-day/full-day):
  Nature day trip, LGBTQIA+ events, deep rest day, social connection
• Emergency interventions (crisis toolkit):
  Call a trusted person, grounding technique, crisis line, contact therapist

Step 3: Write it down
Put your plan somewhere visible. Update it as your needs change.
Self care requires intention—not perfection.

Overcoming Barriers to Self Care

Even when you know self care matters, it can still feel impossible.

Common barriers include:

• Time constraints
• Financial limitations
• Internalized beliefs about worthiness
• Exhaustion from navigating daily life as an LGBTQIA+ person

If time is limited:
Focus on micro-practices:

• Affirmations while brushing your teeth
• Three deep breaths between meetings
• One supportive text to a friend

If money is tight:
Many practices are free:

• Walking outside
• Journaling
• Calling a friend
• Watching the sunset
• Joining free online LGBTQIA+ communities

If worthiness is the barrier:
Start with behavior first. Even if you don’t fully believe you deserve care yet, you can practice acting like you do.

If exhaustion is the barrier:
Lower the bar.
Rest is self care. Saying no is self care. Doing the minimum is self care.

Note: Affirming therapy can feel expensive, but iAmClinic accepts Medicaid and provides monthly superbills for out-of-network insurance reimbursement.

When to Seek Professional Support

Self care practices are powerful, but they’re not substitutes for professional mental health treatment when you’re dealing with persistent symptoms or safety concerns.

Consider reaching out to a therapist if you’re experiencing:

• Persistent sadness or hopelessness lasting more than two weeks
• Overwhelming anxiety that interferes with daily functioning
• Intrusive thoughts or trauma flashbacks
• Difficulty maintaining relationships or employment
• Using substances to cope with difficult emotions

You don’t need to be in crisis to start therapy. Many people use therapy preventively—processing stressors before they become unmanageable.

Crisis resources
If you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide:

• Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call/text 988)
• Contact The Trevor Project (24/7): call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678

Find a Therapist Who Gets You

LGBTQIA+ self-care looks different for everyone, and there’s no single right way to care for yourself. What matters is finding practices that honor your identity, acknowledge your lived experience, and support your well-being.

If you’re ready to explore therapy as part of your self care journey, iAmClinic offers affirming mental health support across 36 states. Our therapists bring both clinical expertise and community understanding to every session.

Schedule a free consultation to find a therapist who gets you.