Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts!
Navigating the Whack-a-Moles of Belonging: A Journey of Queer Self-Discovery
In the world of self-discovery and personal growth, it’s not uncommon to feel like you’re playing a never-ending game of Whack-a-Mole. For queer individuals, especially, the journey to self-acceptance and belonging can be a complex and challenging one. In this podcast episode, we dive deep into the experiences of Carmi, a queer woman from Johnson City, Tennessee. She shares her insights and struggles with a sense of belonging, the impact of childhood experiences, and the constant emergence of emotional triggers, or “Whack-a-Moles,” that affect her relationships and self-confidence. Join us on this enlightening journey as we explore the ways in which we can reclaim our authenticity and power in the face of adversity.
The Importance of Belonging:
Belonging is a fundamental human need, but for queer individuals, it can take on an even greater significance. Carmi emphasizes the importance of belonging to communities or groups that accept and support her identity. She has found solace in her chosen family, a loving married couple who treat her as one of their own. However, the path to belonging is not always straightforward.
Childhood Experiences and Internalized Homophobia:
Carmi’s journey of self-discovery and belonging traces back to her early years. She recalls moments from childhood when she began to question societal gender norms. As a young child, she resisted wearing dresses and gravitated towards activities traditionally associated with boys. Unfortunately, these innocent expressions of her true self were met with resistance and discipline.
Carmi’s parents, especially her mother, struggled to understand and accept her non-conforming gender expression. They tried to encourage her to conform to societal expectations, leaving her feeling like her true self was wrong. The implicit message she received was that her identity was problematic, and she needed to hide it to belong.
The Impact of Gaslighting:
Carmi’s experiences extended into her adult life, particularly during her time as a missionary in Uruguay. When she tried to open up to supposed allies within her organization about the challenges she faced due to homophobia, her concerns were dismissed or redirected. She was gaslit, made to feel that her experiences were invalid or exaggerated. This gaslighting only deepened her sense of insecurity and self-doubt.
The Ego Split and Second-Guessing:
As Carmi’s narrative of not belonging took root, she developed a pattern of second-guessing herself. She began to doubt her own opinions and emotions, believing that they might betray her or lead to further rejection. The ego split, as she refers to it, became her way of surviving in a world that often felt unwelcoming to her true self.
Understanding the Subcortical Nuclei:
To navigate this journey, it’s crucial to understand the role of the subcortical nuclei in our brains. These regions house implicit knowing, which influences our actions and reactions on a subconscious level. Carmi’s experiences had ingrained in her an implicit knowing that her true self was problematic and that she didn’t belong.
The Whack-a-Mole Analogy:
Carmi poignantly likens her journey to playing Whack-a-Mole, where triggers from her past continually pop up, demanding her attention. These triggers activate her amygdala and limbic system, flooding her with emotions and sensations associated with her past experiences. Instead of reacting impulsively, she strives to observe these triggers objectively.
Reclaiming Power and Healing:
Rather than viewing these triggers as enemies, Carmi encourages us to take a step back and watch them from a distance. This shift in perspective allows us to recognize that these triggers are just temporary, much like plastic moles in a game. By addressing these triggers and seeking out belonging and affirmation from supportive communities, we can rewrite our implicit knowing and heal.
Conclusion:
Carmi’s journey of self-discovery and navigating the Whack-a-Moles of belonging is a testament to the resilience of the queer community. By acknowledging the impact of childhood experiences, understanding the subconscious mind, and seeking healing through vulnerability and connection, we can reclaim our authenticity and power. Belonging is not just a fundamental need; it’s a birthright that should be cherished and protected. Through self-awareness and self-acceptance, we can create the love lives and relationships we crave, free from the shadows of the past.
Episode Description
In this episode, the guest talks with Isaac about belonging, gender, and insecurity triggers that come up within the body. They not only talk about confidence but how to step through the fear and identify triggers within the body so that you can learn to reclaim your own power and authenticity.
Listen To More Queer Relation Tips
#37 Dr. Jack: We Are Born This Way, LGBTQIA+ Relationtips
Table Of Contents Unveiling the Complexities of Brain Sexuality and Gender Identity The Birth of Brain Sexuality Brain...
#36 Queer Relationtips: Navigating Finances Together
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Transforming Your Finances: A Journey Towards FreedomAre you ready to take...
#35 Embracing Authenticity: Queer Relationtips and Coming Out
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Navigating Identity, Relationships, and Mental Health: A Conversation with a...
#34 Queer Relationship Dynamics: Embracing Identity and Charting the Future
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Finding Fulfillment in Your Career and Life: Insights from Career Coach Ran...
#32 Celebrating Love: Crafting Meaningful Wedding Vows with Richie & Duane
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Love's Uncharted Journey: Wisdom from Richie & Duane's Decades-Long...
#31 Healing Sexual Shame: Transforming Perspectives on Shameful Sexuality – Part 2
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Unpacking Shame, Self-Concept, and Queer Relationships In this podcast episode,...
#30 Healing Sexual Shame: Transforming Perspectives on Shameful Sexuality – Part 1
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Unpacking the Complex Journey of a Queer Individual: Overcoming Conversion...
#29 Celebrating Love: Queer RelationTips and Holiday Q&A Tips
Table Of Contents Navigating the Holidays as a Queer Individual: Tips from the I Am Clinic Podcast Storytime: A...
#28 Elevating Mental Health: Insights from Dr. Lin Fraser
Table Of Contents A Conversation with Dr. Lynn Frazer: Pioneering Transgender Healthcare and Advocacy Early Challenges...
#27 Unlocking Minds: Exploring Neurofeedback’s Potential in Podcasts
Table Of Contents Unlocking the Power of Neurofeedback: A Path to Healing and Resilience The Power of Neurofeedback:...
#26 Challenging Homophobia: Navigating Therapy with Inclusivity and Respect
Table Of Contents Embracing Authenticity: Overcoming Homophobia in LGBTQ+ Journeys The Significance of Representation:...
#25 Breaking Chains: Confronting Internalized Homophobia and Fostering Acceptance
Table Of Contents Embracing Queer Idnentity: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing Conditioned by...
#24 Navigating Identity: Diverse Non-Binary Experiences and Perspectives
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Embracing Gender Identity and Cultural Identity: A Deep Conversation In a world...
#23 Conquering Insecurity: Empowering Steps to Inner Confidence
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Navigating the Whack-a-Moles of Belonging: A Journey of Queer Self-Discovery In...
#22 Embracing Authenticity: Queer RelationTips and Navigating Coming Out
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Navigating the Uncharted Waters of Coming Out in a Religious Community Coming...
#21 Transforming Narratives: Addressing Toxicity in Gay Hookup Culture
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Navigating Queer Relationships: Finding Love Beyond the Grindr Grid Queer...
#20 Navigating Challenges: The Power of Persistence and Resilience
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Resilience, Loyalty, and Living in the Moment: A Conversation with an...
#19 Unveiling HerStory: Empowering Women Through Inspiring Podcasts
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Transcending Boundaries: Exploring Transgender Experiences and Women's History...
#18 Destigmatizing Butt Stuff
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts!Episode DescriptionIsaac sits with TikTok’s Dr. Carlton and they talk all about...
#17 Trans Athlete Spotlight: Inspiring Journey of Mitch Harrison
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts!Episode Description In the Summer of 2020, Mitch Harrison competed on NBC’s The...
#16 RelationTips: Nurturing Healthy and Vibrant Relationships
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts!Navigating Relationships and Identity: Insights from Two LGBTQIA+ Individuals...
#15 Navigating Love’s Q&A: RelationTips for Dynamic Couples
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts!Episode Introduction Y'all know that life can be rough. Grief and death....
#14 Comprehensive Sexual Health, HIV & Prep – Queer Relationtips Q & A
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts!Episode Introduction LGBTQ+ sexual health is a very important topic. Many of us...
#13 Awakening the Mind-Body Connection: Exploring Psychedelic Somatic Therapy
Get It Wherever You Get Your Podcasts! Episode Introduction Psychedelics have a bad rap. The war on drugs stigmatized...
#12 Exploring Bisexuality and Gender Fluid: A Journey Beyond a Destructive Marriage
Episode Summary Many people judge and hate on bisexuality, claiming that bisexual people just can’t make up their mind...
#11 Myths of Queer Male Sexuality – Part 2
In this episode, Isaac co-hosts with iAmClinic’s newest Clinical Associate Clay Malcolmson for part 2 of this two-part...
#10 Myths of Queer Male Sexuality – Part 1
In this episode, Isaac co-hosts with iAmClinic’s newest Clinical Associate Clay Malcolmson in Part 1 of this two-part...
#1 Understanding and Addressing Internalized Homophobia: A Deep Dive
Table Of Contents Liberating Love: Embrace Sexuality and Overcome Internalized Homophobia The Weight of Sexual Shame...
#2 RelationTips Q&A: Addiction, Shame, and Living in Authenticity in the Queer Relationships
Table Of Contents RelationTips Q&A: Navigating Addiction, Shame, and Authenticity in the Queer Community Embracing...
#4 Harmonizing Authenticity: Trey Pearson’s Courageous Journey of Coming Out as a Renowned Musician
Table Of Contents Embracing Authentic Love: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing With Trey Pearson The Weight of...
#6 Kevin Garcia Exposes How Bad Theology Can Be Fatal
Episode Summary Host Isaac Archuleta sits with Kevin Garcia, life coach, content creator, queer person of faith, host...
#8 Discovering Home and Embracing Authenticity: RelationTips Q&A – Part 1
Episode Summary Host Isaac Archuleta sits with a guest who brought a great conundrum to the show, one that many queer...
#3 Transforming Narratives: Unveiling the Layers of Sexual Shame with Tina Schermer Sellers
Table Of Contents Embracing the Erotic: Redefining Sexuality and Relationships With Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers The...
#5 The Path to a Fulfilling and Healthy Sex Life with Mathias Robert
Table Of Contents Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sexual Ethic on Your Own Terms With Matthias Roberts TheImpact of...
#7 Building Chosen Families: Navigating Anxiety, Depression, and Relationship Tips
Table Of Contents Embracing Anxiety, Depression, and The Courage To Build A Chosen Family Childhood Memories: Finding...
#9 Discovering Home and Embracing Authenticity: RelationTips Q&A – Part 2
Episode Summary In our previous episode, we covered the topic of enmeshment and home, helping the guest find their way...
© iAmClinic - LGBTQIA+ Therapy, LLC 2022